Friday, September 9, 2016

You Want to Go Home and Rethink Your Love Triangle



Hi!  It's Grace again.  This post has nothing to do with the last one, or with September's challenge.  So if you were hoping for a monologue on children's literature, you can sit there and be disappointed because that is not what you're getting today.

Today you are getting what could be the start of a series!  Consider yourself honored.  This series could be offensive to those people who are easily offended, but we also want to make a point.  It is called "You Want to Go Home and Rethink Your _______".  That is a Star Wars reference, for those of you who have no idea where we got our title from.

As you might have guessed, this is a series about things that we don't like in books.  This post particularly is about the infamous Love Triangle.  This is something that is becoming annoyingly common in YA fiction these days, and from my point of view it doesn't usually have a whole lot to do with the story.  Some examples:

Image result for love triangle humor

DISCLAIMER:  If you are prepared to fight to the death for your favorite love triangle, understand that I am going to beat the crap out of your love interests and you might leave being very angry at me. 


Now that's over with, here are some things that make me hate love triangles and basically romance in general:

1. When they are the only things that keep the plot moving.
You see that picture up above the disclaimer?  This is what I'm talking about.  Take one minute and do a little exercise with me.  Remove the love triangle in your story.  You can keep the protagonist, but remove both love interests.  Do you still have a good, coherent plot?  Okay, you can keep your triangle, if you really must.  
2. When the protagonist can't decide between the two.
Yes, let's put two people in a story who are competing for a girl's heart (because heaven forbid I guy can't choose between two girls.  That would be sexist!) and you're going to suspend the romance because the girl can't decide who the heck she wants to end up with.  Both guys are totally awesome in their own right, and she knows she should make up her mind soon, so it takes all her time and energy to figure out which one is better.  Lots of stress and sleepless nights, people.  

I guess my main problem with this is that she doesn't tell them to back off and leave her be.  She totally leads both of them on and keeps them guessing, favoring one for a chapter and then giving the other a great big kiss.  If she just stepped away and maybe tried to solve this problem on her own when she wasn't supposed to be saving her kingdom, I might be a little more okay with this aspect of the love triangle. 

3. When the timing could have been a lot better.
THERE ARE PEOPLE SHOOTING AT YOU AND YOU ARE KISSING AND SAYING ALL KINDS OF GUSHY THINGS STOP THAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FIGHTING NOT KISSING CAN I SMACK YOU GOOD GRIEF PEOPLE SHAPE UP!!!!!!!!!  

4. When the girl risks her entire mission to save a guy she doesn't even know she likes.
Thousands of people are going to die and you go back for Chris?  Really?  But you said three paragraphs ago that you liked Joe better!  Now everybody you've worked so hard to save is going to be taken prisoner and it's all your fault because you have to be fickle and can't make up your mind!  Remember that famous quote from Star Trek?  "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or of the one".  GET IT TOGETHER.

5. When all they really are is a love interest.
Character development?  Nope.  Big plot point?  Nope.  Really flat guy who stupidly chases after a girl who can't make up her mind about anything?  Yup!  



That was a very passionate post about why I don't like modern fiction.  I would probably like it a lot better if people came up with more creative ways to put romance into their stories.  I don't have a problem with a little on the side, but be reasonable, people!  If you have any ideas, I will be in my hobbit-hole and tea is at four.  

~ Grace Weiser

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